Just after graduating from graduate school, when I first joined the company, I was so full of myself with my advanced degree and ability to write news—after all, it was only my third day on the job when a single article became the top story on the entire site. But this behavior also aroused the jealousy of the "seniors" who had been with the company for one to three years. The days that followed were extremely difficult. For a full six months, I had no idea I was already despised. Everything I did, every mistake I made—like typos or inadvertently starting a new discussion thread instead of replying in an old group thread—would be brought up for examination and review, even harshly criticized with demands to "give me an explanation," even though this person wasn't even my manager.
Of course, I did make mistakes, but these minor things could often be resolved with a quick private message if we had a good relationship. If they were made public, then everyone would know, "Oh, it's your turn to be targeted!" Like being pinned to a magician's board, waiting for swords to come flying at you straight on, but being tied down unable to move or dodge.
If lucky, the magician might aim the swords at the gaps and miss you. If unlucky, the magician might go off course and hit your hand or foot. In any case, it won't be a fatal blow, but it will definitely make you bleed and suffer, while the audience thinks it's all part of the show.
Yes, it's ridiculous. But as someone fresh out of school, I really didn't know how to express myself. I asked a coworker I thought had a decent relationship with me, "Should I just explain things directly to them?" But this coworker said insincerely, "That's the kind of person who'll hate you even more the clearer you explain," and after many times, I just stayed silent and didn't explain, letting the damage accumulate as scars on me. （Extended reading: To the Betrayer: Thank you for that slap that taught me what "real society" means ）
During that period, I was probably a very negative person. Every morning when I woke up, I'd cry until work, and it wasn't an exaggeration to say for a full 8-9 hours. But I'd only cry. When I encountered the person, I could only smile and ignore them, or give them a cold face and ignore them. I never had the courage to express myself, and even on the rare occasions when we had the chance to communicate face-to-face, I could only choose silence and endure.
Actually, this kind of behavior is extremely immature and ignorant.
After working for a few years, I became braver. If anything infringed on my rights, I would definitely speak up. Once during an interview, I encountered a gangster who, without understanding the situation, accused us of trespassing and filming on private property. After I apologized, he demanded we delete the footage or he'd call the police. If it were the old me, I would have cried first, but in that moment, I immediately turned fierce, directly shot back at him "You come with me to find the owner!" "Come on!" "If you want to call the police, I'll call right now," and raised my voice continuously. The guy didn't dare be reckless either and quietly followed behind me, even sarcastically muttering "Why do you have to be so fierce." Not backing down, I raised my voice again "I explained things nicely to you and you wouldn't listen, and you dare say others have bad attitudes? Do you even understand the situation?"
In the end, this gangster really didn't understand the situation. We had already gotten permission from the owner before entering, but he didn't even apologize and had the audacity to blame others first**—truly very rude.**
I want to say that once you've become an adult, speaking up is an essential survival skill, not pretending nothing happened without logic or brains, not just crying, not quietly asking for help thinking someone will come like a god to protect you.
After growing up, don't just cry when you feel wronged. When you only stay silent and don't explain, you're actually engaging in the most immature act that damages your own image, and you probably won't reverse others' impression of you for the rest of your life.
Once you've become an adult, at least after graduating from university, the world won't be kind to you. Your silence won't block the magician's knife for you; it will only leave you covered in scars. To survive in society, maintain integrity, attitude, and respect first, then talk about tolerance. If you have no bargaining chips and your eyes are on top of your head, I'm sorry, but no one will respect you, because you haven't even given yourself any dignity—so why should others give you any respect? Who will care about you?
