Last weekend, Karen initiated a poll in the community with the theme "What problems worry people most in the workplace and what do they fear most?" There were 14 options in total, covering different aspects including getting along with colleagues, dealing with supervisors, salary and promotion, and more.
The top three in order are "Don't know how to build good relationships with colleagues," "Colleagues are too insincere," and "Supervisors are hard to communicate with." Notably, fifth place is "Afraid of being backstabbed by colleagues," and these popular options all revolve around "getting along with colleagues."
Additionally, the Taiwan Employment Service under the Ministry of Labor conducted an "anxiety survey" last year targeting fresh graduates entering the workplace. They discovered that the top anxiety freshmen face during job searching or when joining a company is "You don't know how to do this?" at 42.12%—nearly half—which shows that how colleagues perceive your workplace performance is very important.
In the workplace, colleagues come in all types. However, as everyone has different personalities, they naturally have different ideas about how senior colleagues guide them. For example, some seniors actively show goodwill and constantly point out small details, but some people think the senior is being too controlling. Other seniors don't teach much—they only answer when you ask questions. Some people like this hands-off approach, but others find it confusing. Because of these differences, many newcomers are uncertain about "adapting to change," unsure whether they should use method A or B when talking to or asking questions of seniors. They get blocked by their own imagination, and consequently don't know how to build good relationships with colleagues.
Below are three scenarios, along with how to solve them by "stepping out of your comfort zone"
➡Fear Mentality (1): My Senior Has More Seniority, So I Should Just Listen
Freshly hired newcomers easily feel that since seniors have been at the company for a long time, they should accept everything they say without question. They even comply with things that don't make sense, and even when they notice something is wrong, they don't dare speak up. Additionally, when seniors talk to them, they become particularly "shy" and don't dare show their true personality, though their caution stems from "respect."
However, from the senior's perspective, facing such a shy and reluctant newcomer actually makes them unsure how to teach. They don't know what you're thinking or where your confusion lies, so they can't resolve your doubts. When seniors give instructions, sometimes they themselves aren't executing the work firsthand, so they may not notice problems and end up giving difficult orders that are hard to implement.
✳How to Break Out: Respecting seniors is polite, but excessive politeness actually makes you "hard to approach," appearing as someone "with nothing to talk about" or making people feel "I'm not sure if they even understood." Actually, seniors aren't as scary as you think. Put simply, they're older and entered the workplace earlier, so they have more experience in this regard than freshmen. They've encountered more situations and already found solutions and ways to handle things—they weren't born knowing all this.
If you imagine seniors as distant in your mind, you may actually make it harder for them to teach you. For seniors, some just want to know if you can do what they've told you. Making mistakes the first or second time is acceptable, but if you're still making mistakes by the third or fourth time, naturally they'll become impatient. They want to know where you don't understand so they can adjust their teaching method. It's not helpful if problems only surface after everything is completed—that just wastes everyone's time.
So when you have problems, you should speak up boldly. Whether it's something you don't understand or an issue with the project, you can say it. Don't keep it bottled up thinking that speaking up is disrespectful to seniors, and don't pretend you can handle something when you actually can't. That only makes things more chaotic.
➡Fear Mentality (2): Afraid of Asking "Stupid" Questions and Being Disliked by Seniors
Many people have lots of questions in their minds but don't dare ask colleagues at work. Instead, they just keep their heads down and work alone, and don't compare with others. But this easily gives them the impression of "never asking even when doing things wrong" or "having low desire for knowledge." However, these people might be worried about asking something silly. But actually, newcomers have the right to ask all kinds of questions. First, because you're unfamiliar with company culture. Second, you don't understand administrative and work procedures. Third, you're still exploring the entire environment, so everyone's tolerance is relatively higher.
However, some people may have done similar work before and assume they can use the same method from company B at company A. So they think asking basic questions again might be too foolish, or asking more questions might make seniors dislike them. Holding onto this fantasy of being negatively perceived, they easily don't speak, don't ask, don't correct, don't change. Over time they become confused, but actually many things can be resolved in just a couple of sentences—it's not that difficult.
✳How to Break Out: Everyone wants to build a good image at work, so they worry about asking questions that are too basic, worried that asking what everyone knows will damage their image in others' minds, and asking too much might get them disliked. But this misconception is simply worrying too much. For seniors, sometimes they won't even notice what aspect of things newcomers don't understand or why. If you ask questions and give everyone a chance to teach you, when a new person comes in next time, they might be specially noted on this, reducing friction among everyone.
Asking questions from different angles also shows you're passionate about this job and want to understand more. Additionally, when asking questions, you can praise seniors for doing something well and ask them for a little tip. Usually, with this approach, the other person is delighted that their work has been noticed and will be willing to understand your thoughts better and discuss with you. Although asking questions is good, this doesn't mean we can ask the same question many times. From my own experience, I really don't like encountering people like that—it means you haven't bothered to remember, which equals wasting everyone's time.
➡Fear Mentality (3): They're Busy, They Probably Don't Want to Teach Me
Some people who aren't close to seniors easily imagine the other person's mood. If they're not smiling or "seem" busy, even though there are questions on their mind, they still don't dare speak up because of these imaginings. Actually, this is sometimes a form of avoidance, giving yourself an excuse like "I actually wanted to ask him last time, but he happened to be busy." Of course, everyone at work has their own things to do. If there are no other tasks to handle, they're definitely working on their own stuff.
But when you speak up and ask them something, they can arrange time and fit your question into their schedule. They might say to wait ten minutes, or tell you when they'll have time, and they can also prepare in advance for what you're going to ask so they can think it through. No matter how busy they are, as long as you speak up, most people will help to some degree, unless they're really the type to guard their secrets and are very hard to approach.
✳How to Break Out: We must first overcome the "overthinking" personality. Often we confine ourselves to safe spaces to make ourselves comfortable, rather than actually checking whether the other person has time. Instead, we unilaterally guess their emotions, worrying that our questions will bother them or take up their time. But it's really not that serious. As mentioned above, as long as you speak up, they can arrange time and add you to their schedule. After all, many things require discussion and questions for mutual understanding. Through this approach, you can get closer to each other. Of course, if the other person is really busy, don't bother them over and over—learn to read the situation.
