There are many things to pay attention to when leaving a job gracefully. For instance, I think accepting a lateral transfer as a retention offer isn't really a good move.
Why would I say that?
【Accepting a Departmental Transfer as a Retention Offer: Disrespecting Your Original Supervisor】
If transferring departments is enough to make you want to stay at the company, doesn't that suggest something was wrong with your original unit? Or that your supervisor didn't give you opportunities, didn't let you develop, didn't recognize your talents... all these factors combined, aren't they indirectly blaming your original supervisor for the problems? That's bound to sit badly with your original supervisor. If you end up staying, seeing each other at the office would be awkward, and both your original and new supervisors would likely feel uncomfortable...
So when I said I wanted to stay only if I didn't have to leave my original department, my supervisor smiled and immediately said, "What about switching shifts? Would you like me to check if our shift still has openings? How about that?"
Seeing my supervisor's reaction, I felt quite embarrassed and couldn't bring myself to decline. So I said, "Well... okay, but let me think about it. From what I understand, even if there aren't full positions, everyone's roles are quite fixed. Having an extra person like me wouldn't affect others, would it?" The senior manager even mentioned that another person's work would be transferred to me so they could do something else. Could that look good if word got out?
At that point, the senior manager offered some guidance: "If you ultimately decide to stay, you don't need to worry about people saying you mentioned resignation just to get a raise. Neither your supervisor nor I will be influenced by such rumors. But I also want to emphasize: no matter where you end up working in the future, don't actively use raises or promotions to negotiate conditions with any superior. What's meant to be yours will be yours."
I knew my supervisors wouldn't care what people said about me resigning for a raise, because we genuinely never discussed that. But rumors—I can't control how they spread, and they definitely will spread. The only person affected by those rumors would be me. So at that moment, I listened very carefully and nervously to what was said. I was certain I wouldn't stay.
Later, managers from other departments came to talk to me about joining them, but after careful consideration, I formally declined. I was genuinely grateful that my supervisors valued me so much and helped me realize I was still a capable person—I had just lacked confidence in myself before.
During this retention discussion period, I also communicated very clearly and directly with the new company. Since my original company was still discussing retention with me, I asked for some time to give a formal response to their offer. The new company did set a specific deadline, and I confirmed my acceptance before that deadline without any second thoughts.
The day before my resignation, the senior manager even received a call from the new company confirming my resume. In front of everyone, he said: "They asked me a question: if you could, would you want to continue being colleagues with him? I said yes, because I really didn't want him to leave!" Hearing my supervisor say this, I felt overwhelmed with gratitude and appreciation. I was deeply thankful for his care. Finally, I left with everyone's blessings.
I felt this entire process taught me many things.
First: Once you've spoken up about resigning, you really shouldn't change your mind and stay just because of the department, position, or salary.
Especially if you've already accepted an offer from the new company—you'd completely ruin your reputation.
So when you bring up resignation, be clear, honest, and firm with your original company. With the new company, also be honest and set a deadline before accepting. Most importantly, don't accept and then change your mind. Otherwise, you won't be able to join the new company, might not be able to get in for years to come, lose the respect of your original colleagues, and face negative consequences wherever you go.
Second: Never bring up resignation just to negotiate a raise.
I think a company is a team organization, and many things can be discussed. It just depends on whether you dare and want to. If you genuinely believe you've worked hard and contributed to the company but haven't received equal compensation, I think you should open a conversation and communicate about it—not use resignation as a threat, especially when a new company is waiting for you. If you ultimately accept a raise to stay, won't the new company feel like they were just being used as a tool?
Of course, people are all different... (haha)
Third: Once you've mentioned resignation, truly let it go.
If your supervisor wants to keep you, that's already a form of recognition. But surely, before resigning, you went through multiple considerations. You wouldn't have gathered the courage to talk to your supervisor if you were just making casual conversation. And if your supervisor tries to tempt you by offering a job transfer and you accept, aren't you stepping on your colleagues and climbing over their bodies? If it happens that someone else has been waiting a long time for that position, wouldn't you create a huge grudge in the company?
Of course, some people don't care about their reputation and believe climbing up the ladder means stepping on others' bodies. I can't say anything about that, but I think it's part of basic ethics and human decency.
I've heard of a friend who mentioned resignation to her supervisor, was retained three times without staying, even snapped at the supervisor, and only stayed when the senior manager spoke up. Of course, no one knows what the conditions were, but the new company's manager had kept the position open for a month before she changed her mind. Eventually, the new company's manager publicly called her out by name and scolded her: "Don't treat us as your tool for negotiating a raise." The comments below were filled with industry veterans, including managers from her own company. Is this kind of reputation really good?
It's not difficult to speak up about resigning. The hard part is handling everything carefully so you don't damage your image!
