I'm the type of person who cares deeply—very deeply—about what others think. I've suffered a lot because of this. The upside is that I reflect on my own shortcomings and work to improve. The downside is that a single comment from a coworker can affect my work performance. When my emotions are swayed by others' words, I easily become the butt of jokes or gossip.
But two years later, I realized something: "The more you care about those words, the easier it is for them to hurt you." People who say hurtful things actually just have too much time on their hands, so they spend it competing with you for power. Because of their "lack of ability," they need to put others down to gain affirmation and trust from others. When you let their words control your emotions and your work suffers and you lose confidence, you're playing right into their hands. They get to gloat and "prove" they were right, and they'll only escalate.
If someone genuinely cares about you, they'll tell you directly how to improve things and give you advice. Of course, there are people who say one thing to your face and another behind your back. Learning to identify these coworkers comes only from experience. Because without going through these setbacks, you won't grow. "Healing after being hurt is a form of growth." I believe this thorny path is something you must walk, and no matter how difficult it is in the moment, you have to see it through.
Then you'll understand that when facing negative emotions, what you should do is do your work well—no mistakes, no loopholes for others to exploit. When facing negative comments, don't respond directly. Use those words to find areas you can improve, become better, and focus on your work performance. This way, you'll keep getting better and better.
[Important Lessons from My First Job Series—Five Articles in Part 2]
First Job Lesson (Part 2-1): Choose Your Manager as Carefully as You Choose Your Company
First Job Lesson (Part 2-2): Stick to the Facts, Don't Let Emotions Control You
First Job Lesson (Part 2-3): Doing Your Job Well is the Baseline; Being a Good Person Matters More
First Job Lesson (Part 2-4): You're Not Omnipotent, Don't Take Everything On
First Job Lesson (Part 2-5): Develop a Mature Work Attitude: Learn to Express Your Stance
