This article originated from a post I made on Dcard about how lack of stability can be an advantage. A user asked the following question:
I've been really lost recently. From the past until now, I haven't had anything particular I want to do, but I'm interested in many things. Just like the article described, I feel like I know a little bit about everything but excel at nothing, so I'm quite confused now... Could you recommend a book on this topic that I could read to examine whether I belong to this type?
Because I found it extremely relatable—it was just like me a few years ago when I was in despair—I replied with the following 2,300 words (I suspect I have OCD).
= Below is the full text = (Dcard tone)
I'm someone who lacks stability—I switched companies five times in 3.5 years. Here I'm recommending a personal reading list with three books each on the psychological, ideological, and practical levels. The key is to clarify what you love and what you're good at from confusion. If these ultimately create value for society, you achieve sustainable development. This is what I call personal brand management.
I've actually read all nine books below, and I've shared about them with others too, so I've integrated some of my previous thoughts into parts of this.
Psychological Level
1. The Courage to Be Disliked:
This book accompanied me through my job search—a three-month period where I was rejected by 10 companies. "All problems stem from interpersonal relationships" and "everything people do and say has a purpose." This is the most profound lesson I learned from this book. I read it four years ago, and to this day I still can't fully practice it. I can only try to calm down when facing situations, examine what the other person is calculating, work through how I can respond, and then accept that interpersonal relationships are something you truly can't control. Whether a job has good communication depends on this, whether you get hired in an interview depends on this. You can't just do things well—being likable is more important.
2. The Bullet Journal Method:
This is a very practical book I read recently. Although it feels like a tool book, I believe the author Ryder Carroll (please be sure to buy the black original edition) has written his entire life philosophy into it.
"Nothing can stay forever, but you always have a chance to start over." This is a sentence I find very warm, because whenever we face difficulties and want to give up, we get anxious about missing out. But actually, life has many possibilities and many paths. Holding onto things that won't help our future isn't better, so letting go and starting fresh might let us see more scenery.
3. Your Kindness Must Have a Sharp Edge
Intelligence is a gift, but kindness is a choice.
You must have your own boundaries. Within your capacity, you can lend a hand; beyond your capacity, you must firmly say no. This is a way to acknowledge risk and responsibility. No one should compromise their own desires to fulfill others' wishes.
Often, what we call sacrifice is redundant giving that becomes an emotional burden for both sides. Self first, then others. It may sound cold, but it will help us coexist well with this world.
Ideological Level
1. Black Swan Thinking:
Actually, I'm still reading this one, but I genuinely think it's written extremely well. The main content describes how some people who aren't experts in a field suddenly emerge. I feel like every sentence in this book is profound—for example, "individualized success means balancing self-realization with excellence" and "only when I took the winding path did I finally take pride in myself."
This book organizes many thought patterns that you can reflect upon yourself and distill into your own methodology.
2. The Money You Spend Always Comes Back to You
Understand the purpose behind your spending, and you can simply categorize it into "desire" and "investment," but we often can't measure whether our heart and money align in value. We continue to spend thousands on purchasing clothes, yet struggle to invest tens of thousands at once in a class that would truly help us.
This is because we don't "look forward," because investment is a kind of feedback. If you combine interests and spend money to develop abilities, knowledge that seems useless or can't be used immediately will definitely help you someday in the future, and gradually you can arrange your life more freely without being as busy as a headless fly.
3. Embrace Age Anxiety
Each age presents different challenges. Even though I've weathered various anxieties before, the approaching milestone of turning 30 makes me wonder: "Have I already achieved my goals?" "Do I already have one recognized expertise?"
This book transformed my thinking and anxiety about this. The author says "meaningful growth always happens at moments of upheaval, just like everyone experiences growing pains during puberty. Acknowledge your efforts and keep pursuing growth."
I then realized that the anxiety in our hearts comes from our desire to progress and our expectations, not because we're not good enough, but because we hope we never stop growing and learning. We constantly hope to become better, which creates rejection of complacency and thus forms anxiety.
Growth accumulates bit by bit from refining yourself daily. Although it takes physical time to see actual results, don't give up. Embrace the power of this anxiety, and you will be the best version of yourself.
(Extended reading: Remember When Lost: Life Has No Standard Answers—Your Choices Are the Answer)
Practical Level
1. Writing is the Best Investment in Yourself
This book actually includes writing techniques, because I write frequently—about 4-5 years now—and I'm a text worker myself, so I look at how writing is taught in the market. The author's method is exactly my usual writing technique, of course I also have my own approach.
Why mention writing? Because writing is precisely the way to present your thoughts, and it's very helpful for building your personal brand and establishing confidence. Display platforms can be through Dcard, IG, fan pages, self-built WordPress, or recently many people write on Medium (I personally don't).
The author puts it this way: when your mind is framed with the intention to write, you become more sensitive to things around you and see them from different angles. The world you see transforms through the lens of writing—from points to lines to a network—forming a more complete world in your heart. You see a new world that others can't see.
2. Weak Ties
I personally think this is the practical method for networking. Relationships are important, and this book can help you clarify "why do this" and "who are valuable weak ties."
Strong Ties vs. Weak Ties Strong ties: share resources, provide emotional support, but belong to weak value Weak ties: not relationships, but information channels
When you feel like you've failed, you can examine your weak ties: Besides close friends you can talk to about anything, do you have other friends? What have you learned from social interactions, what preparations have you made for the future? How do you get information from your network? How do you ensure others help you rather than helping your competitors?
From now on, break free from #familiar relationships Trust every person around you, including strangers or those you've only met once. Exchange trust for trust, build connections with trust. Treat strong ties and weak ties equally, value every piece of information people give you. Share unselfishly, help more people, including those with little presence.
3. Your Dreams Will Come True—The Mandala Chart Plan
I recommend this because "goals" matter more than "how to do it." You need a clear direction to have motivation to strive. Once the core is determined, advancing toward your goal won't be confused or abandoned halfway.
Japanese baseball player Shohei Ohtani, now 24 years old, set his goal in high school to be picked first by a team and achieve a ball speed of 160 km/h. After setting this goal, he completed it in just three years, realizing his dream at 18. In 2016, he threw the fastest pitch in Japanese professional baseball at 165 km/h, which is still the fastest record for Japanese pitchers. He did this with one chart—the "Mandala Chart Plan."
Many people think that if they just casually draw the OW64 chart based on their mind's desires, dreams will miraculously come true, but that's completely impossible. Just figuring out your core goal clearly is an extremely difficult task. You need to decompose your goals, turning "abstract" into "concrete."
Future perspective four quadrants decompose the goal's factors into "tangible," "intangible," "others," and "self."
Of course there are many other great books, but I might list them in other series, or study them once I've sorted myself out completely. Books to study later include Brené Brown's Daring Greatly, Harvard Business School's Networking Secrets, Connection, The Age of Multi-careers, and so on.
Hope this recommendation is helpful to everyone ☺️
Friends interested in discussing personal branding—there's a public speech on 08/02!
