I happened to go exchange my passbook recently and came across my part-time work salary records from my sophomore year. Back then I was studying at night school, with classes from 3:30 PM to 10 PM, plus a minor program. For half a year, I worked as an early morning editing desk intern at China Times News, with shifts from 5 AM to 2 PM.

Every single day, I'd ride my motorcycle from Shuanghe to Neihu at 4 AM, then ride back at 2 PM—a two-hour commute each way. I'd sleep at midnight and wake up at 4 AM. Plus, I couldn't take time off during typhoons or major events. The hourly wage was just 100 NT, yet I managed to earn 24K a month—meaning I worked over 240 hours monthly. Looking back, those days were incredibly tough. I only slept four hours a day and still had to write reports when I got home. On weekends after work, I'd film videos. After just half a year, I quit because I decided to pursue a master's degree.

I remember it clearly—it was 2010, June 11th, when I started at the TV station. I had originally found the part-time job on PTT, and honestly, I didn't have much interest in news. I just noticed that my classmates were all working at media companies, so I thought I should find a job in a related field too. Before that, I had worked in food service, law offices, and factories. It made more sense to work in news media than waste time, so that's what I decided.

Walking into that company was a shock to the system. Back then, China Times and TVBS were competing for first and second place (sigh, those were the days). So everyone was under pressure every day. Even us interns had tons of work. It was the era of "tape running," and I had to use linear editing to cut afternoon previews. The pressure was enormous. I got yelled at every day, cried frequently, and was even bullied by an intern from a non-related major who had started two months before me.

But this didn't discourage me. Instead, that pressure and urgency deeply attracted me. I thought the job was very challenging. But looking at the people around me, they were all running around like dogs, while the higher-ups—the ones with degrees—were leisurely overseeing everything. That's when I got the idea to pursue a master's degree and decided to become a journalist and work in news.

That day was June 23rd. I brought a down payment and went directly to National Prep School, saying I wanted to enroll in "Dai Ran" and "News Studies Graduate Program." I was only a sophomore at the time—normally people don't start preparing until junior year. But because I was at FZU night school, we were always doing presentations and filming videos, not just studying news. So I hoped to attend prep school for two years to fill knowledge gaps and study properly, starting from theory.

In just 12 days, I went from having zero interest in news to walking into prep school saying I wanted to study for graduate school. The change was huge. Beyond the degree issue, I felt I hadn't studied properly. If I went out as a journalist or editor without substance or depth, I'd have no way to convince others of my ability. But I really don't have talent for studying—what takes someone three hours to master takes me a week. So that summer, while classmates were on vacation, I worked from early morning to afternoon at the TV station and attended prep school classes in the evenings. After school started, I kept up with two classes per week until I quit.

↓Plenty of study notes (the phone camera quality wasn't great back then XD)

For the two years leading up to graduation, I worked full-time as an administrative intern at school while preparing for graduate entrance exams. I participated in two study groups, submitted weekly assignments, and prepared recommendation materials and practiced for interviews. I put in a lot of effort. Those days were truly fragile times because I didn't know if all this time investment would pay off. I wondered if I'd pass at all, or if I'd just stay at the same level—still at a private school. Would these two years of effort be wasted? These kinds of doubts constantly ran through my mind.

I remember applying to nine graduate programs. Just the application fees and document preparation cost about 30,000 NT. My teacher said, "You must apply to both public and private universities. If you only apply to a few and don't get in, you might feel like nobody in the world wants you." When the first schools posted results, National Taiwan University and National Chengchi University didn't have my name. National Taiwan Normal University had me interview for everything, but I ended up as second alternate. But watching my classmates all get accepted while I hadn't received confirmation yet was incredibly stressful. I really wanted to know quickly if I had a school. I really had tried so hard.

My mood back then was so desperate that I cried in front of my teacher and lost confidence. I had an interview at National Chung Cheng two days later but couldn't muster any energy. I just kept hiding and crying because I couldn't imagine studying in the south. When I submitted my application, I even asked the teacher, "If I do get in but won't go anyway, should I still submit?" It was only because the teacher said "you definitely have to submit" that I sent in my materials. In the end, among public universities, only National Chung Cheng was left as my hope. I was ultimately accepted to five schools, and I entered National Chung Cheng University's graduate program.

↓The back hill of National Chung Cheng University is beautiful

Those days were truly difficult, especially after enrollment. Because my level couldn't keep up with my classmates, I had to read hundreds of pages of English papers each week, participate in class discussions, and often had nothing to say. Sometimes the teacher would check my notes and ask if I had actually read the material. There were many setbacks. But whenever I thought about why I so wanted a master's degree and how much I suffered at the TV station, I kept telling myself not to give up easily. Eventually, I overcame my greatest fear—statistics. My thesis was quantitative research. Besides using SPSS, I also used AMOS structural equation modeling. And I became a teaching assistant for junior students.

From being a private night school student, overcoming every setback, and entering National Chung Cheng University's graduate program—from struggling to keep up on the first day of classes to eventually becoming a teaching assistant—it was all because of "persistence." I didn't want to let down the version of myself who worked so hard. I didn't want to be easily dismissed by those who once looked down on me. And because I persisted, I broke free from the stereotype of being a private night school student, so I made it to where I am today.

I want to say: no matter how painful, confused, anxious, or desperate you feel right now, if you still want to see something through, you must hold on and not give up halfway. You only live once. You'll regret it if you don't try, so be brave and do it.

【Afterword】

So many things were meant to be. I'm really grateful I chose National Chung Cheng University. These days I often think about going back to Chiayi to visit my professors, returning to campus to recharge. Those days when I could work hard on things I loved were incredibly precious and irreplaceable.

↓Those days really filled my heart