（↑Video Version）
I started keeping a diary a few years ago. Before heading to the Philippines, I reviewed my diary entries and found that a week before my exchange to Korea at 24, I wrote: "I was originally looking forward to it, but the closer the departure day gets, the more afraid I become, the less I want to face it." At that time, my emotions were very anxious. I remember that week while packing, I would sigh every time I put something into my suitcase, because I didn't know whether I would grow in the next six months or if I would actually gain anything. At that time, I was also a master's student who hadn't finished her thesis yet. Compared to friends who entered the workforce right after university, I was already two years behind them, lacking two years of workplace experience.
From a conventional perspective, I was someone who didn't properly write her thesis, went abroad for six months, and had to delay graduation. Compared to others, I was really far behind. That's why I had such anxiety back then.
But now at 29, five years have passed. Since I resigned at the end of July, I've experienced a tremendous shift in my mindset. I've had five job resignations before, and previously each one would flow into the next—I would start a new job within a week. That week was usually very anxious too. I felt nervous about having nothing to do, doubting whether my abilities were sufficient.
But this time was completely different. I resigned without a safety net, and I don't have a formal job offer for my next position yet. However, I have my own field and goals for the next job, or even if I return to the media industry, I won't care how the outside world views my winding path. I have none of the anxiety I used to feel. Instead, during this past month, I've explored many fields, received different opportunities, had time to contribute my expertise, examine myself, and see what remains after the business cards are exchanged.
I think what changed me most over these five years is that I know myself very clearly—I understand exactly how my personality, attitude, and mindset are influenced by certain people, things, and circumstances, and I can control my thoughts. I'm not sure at what stage or age others are able to grasp the same insights I have now. If you've ever felt this way, believe me, you're in a life state that suits you best. Of course, the life you love will continue to evolve, but please hold onto this sense of fulfillment.
To clarify, what I mean by knowing myself clearly is:
Knowing what kinds of things you'll regret not doing, what will make you happy, or what state you'll be in if you truly regret something—like decay, sleeping, staying indoors—and how to overcome it.
My understanding is:
The deeper your self-understanding, the more it helps you make any decision in your career and life with courage, allowing you to refuse confidently and accept rejection as a fact.
But this is absolutely not about being strong. Rather, as I mentioned before, after experiencing some major setbacks in the first half of this year, once I calmed down and reflected, I realized the problem lay in my overconfidence, which led to such a significant setback.
Later, I examined myself carefully and traced back through my past experiences, comparing how I handled similar situations in previous years versus now, looking at my actions, attitudes, and emotions. I came to deeply understand that no matter when or at what stage of life you are, you will repeatedly encounter the same lessons. I believe these are tests to see if you've grown. Since you've already fallen in previous years, when you face the same lesson again, will you choose to fall or not? If you choose to suppress your emotions and think rationally, then this mindset means you've already broken through your past self and evolved to another stage.
When I was in a more negative emotional state, I used to ask others for their opinions on everything. For example, a few years ago I drew a working holiday visa for Canada. I already had it, but I wasn't even sure if I should go. I kept asking others whether I should. Of course, 80% were very supportive and encouraged me to go for the experience. But in the end, I didn't go, and I regretted it deeply. That's when I decided that the next time I had an opportunity to go abroad, I would never hesitate again—I would just go.
This resignation was also a significant turning point. From a conventional perspective, I only stayed at a job for four months before leaving, which doesn't look good on a resume. But looking back, I realize that if I had stayed in the same position for one or two more years, I would have had no growth at all—instead, I would have stagnated in certain abilities and perspectives.
I want to tell friends around me who are struggling with career and life decisions: leaving the people and things you're used to won't cause your life to collapse. Instead, by absorbing new stimuli, you can nourish your life with more substance. Don't always stay in one place watching others run forward. That would be such a waste. Don't just admire others for being brave and tell them you weren't as lucky.
I believe luck comes from accumulated experiences through life's ups and downs. It's crucial whether you turn setbacks into nourishment. No one is born inherently lucky. Clarify what helps you and what doesn't, courageously let go of what you don't need, don't waste time, seize opportunities, and trust every decision you make—it will bring significant change to your life and give you enough confidence to face upcoming challenges. If you don't progress and grow, you'll only encounter boring, tiresome challenges. When you only complain and envy others, eventually no one can help you. So when you face a life choice, ask yourself: What do I want? Who do I want to become? And what kind of life do I want to live? Once you're clear on these, bravely step out of your comfort zone.
