Recently, I've been reflecting on the deeper meaning behind the word "commitment".
In my twenties, I didn't give much thought to commitment. But after my thirties, I discovered that making a commitment isn't a trait everyone possesses equally—there's often a gap between how deeply people understand it and their actual ability to deliver on it. This also explains why I didn't have much to think about commitment back then: it was already a trait I possessed.
My understanding of commitment is: "doing what you say, and if you can't, explaining why you can't". This explanation must be something the other person can understand and accept. After confirming mutual alignment, you then decide whether to end or continue the relationship. Commitment is how a relationship is maintained; even deciding not to stay in touch is a form of relationship.
When it comes to making commitments to others, I don't feel pressure—instead, I'm often grateful for the trust they place in me. At the same time, I make it a habit to do good "expectation management"—thinking ahead about what results the other person might anticipate, and proactively telling them about the timeline, scope, and goals involved. I explain "what I can do," "to what extent I can do it," and "how long it will take." Even when I truly can't deliver, I inform them proactively, so they can feel well understood emotionally.
I Only Feel Pressure About Commitment to Myself
When I want to do something but "variables" depend on others, that creates stress for me.
I can manage myself well and adapt to others' pace. Being highly sensitive also lets me observe changes in both internal and external environments. However, if someone can't match this rhythm or intervenes partway through, I get thrown off. And when disrupted, I become particularly fixated on this "variable," needing a lot of time to recover.
When recovering, I always wonder—if I had said something different back then, would the outcome have changed? If I... if I had done this or that, I blame myself, looking inward. I really do know how to torment myself.
People Without Commitment Are Only Expressing, Not Communicating
But some people feel a lot of pressure about making commitments to others.
This comes from them starting with themselves—thinking about what they can and can't do—without bothering to manage whether the other person cares about what they can accomplish. So they choose to give up. For example, "what I can do differs from what you want," or "I can't do it, so I won't try"...
Maybe they express their feelings, but they're not trying to communicate. Because communication is two-way; they're just expressing themselves. Their lack of initiative ultimately makes them someone without commitment.
Career and Commitment Are Always Matched
I've always believed that career and commitment must align.
For example, Shohei Ohtani's mandala chart—his definition of success includes luck, psychology, character, and professional baseball skills. These are the factors that enabled him to achieve his goals and reach the top. Without these qualities, it's hard to go far. But this is something I couldn't understand at twenty.
Since I already call them "variables," why should I take them so seriously? But if I didn't take my life seriously, I wouldn't be who I am now.
2026
The first half: give myself career growth—I've learned to deploy. The second half: goals for personal and spiritual growth—learn to undeploy.
